PrussiaxReader: Unawesome Bar?
by Catgirl10004
Summary: Life sure does suck, doesn't it? Will a certain albino fix that? Or just make things worse? Contains: Pervy France, Lovi-obsessed Spain, and an Awesome Prussia Human names used
1. Chapter 1

Being at a bar alone was never fun. Especially since you were broke, just got fired from your part-time job, and your boyfriend just sent you a break up text You ran your fingers through your (h/c) hair, and downed your cheap beer. At least the bar was relatively quiet, right? Just then, three people busted though the bar doors. One had a girl hanging off each of his arms, and wavy blonde hair. Another had short, messy brown hair, and was chomping on a bright red tomato. The third had short white hair and intense red eyes. And worst of all… They were all obnoxious. All three ordered drinks and sat down at the bar next to you… great. You slammed you head down on the bar, hard enough that there would probably be a good chance of a big ugly bruise tomorrow.

"KESESESESE!" the albino… laughed? What a weird laugh, you thought to yourself… "LETS TRY NOT TO GET KICKED OUTTA THIS BAR!" …Did he really need to shout? His friends were sitting right next to him.

"Si~" Replied the brunette, "I wish Lovi agreed to come here though…"

"Lovino? Non! He would ruin all of our fun~ Right ladies?" The blonde said, caressing the cheeks of the hanging girls. Their only response was nodding and swooning over him.

"KESESESE~ LETS DO KARAOKE!"

It was at that moment, you decided you had to get the hell out of there. You looked in your wallet, but found that you had next to no money. It wasn't that far to walk, right? You walked out of the bar and down the sidewalk, when you felt a drop of water. Your looked up. The universe really loves to rain on your parade, doesn't it? Literally. At that moment, the earth decided to dump the entire Atlantic Ocean on you.

"SHIT!" You bolted back to the bar, and swung the doors open, panting, out of breath, and soaked to the bone. You walked over to the window, traced your fingers over it, and began slamming your head against it. Life. Sucks. Someone up there really hated you.

"Señorita?" You turned around to see the brunette and Co. staring at you. "What is wrong?" Based off his reaction, you're pretty sure you gave him the dirtiest look in the entire history of dirty looks. "WAUGH!" The brunette cried out, as he hid behind the blonde. "She's almost as scary as Lovi when he gets mad!"

"I wonder why she's so pissed?" Questioned the albino.

"Honhonhon~ maybe she had bad sex last night…"

"I'm right here. I can hear you." You grumbled. These guys were just as bad at reading the atmosphere as your friend Alfred!

"I'm sure she'll tell us once she gets a few drinks in her~" You were suddenly dragged off to the bar by an obnoxious albino who practically shoved beer down your throat. Your (e/c) eyes started to become hazy as the booze took effect.

"Life… You know life… is sshtoopid…!" You slurred, taking a gulp of your beer, "And who da hell are you guysh?"

The brunette smiled kindly at you "Hola! Lo siento, I forgot to introduce myself earlier. My name is Antonio. Its a pleasure to meet you."

The blonde chuckled "Speaking of pleasure... My name is Francis. Its very nice to meet such a lovely lady at a place like this, mon cher" Francis chuckled, while making an attempt to grab at your (size) boobs. His attempt failed as his arm was knocked away by the albino.

"HALLO THERE BIRDIE! I AM THE AWESOME GILBERT!"

Francis smiled "So mon cher, what might your name be?"

"Uhh... my name...?" You had to scan your brain for a bit, stupid albino... "My name is (y/n)"

"That is a lovely name, mon amour. I'd love to scream it in be-" He was cut off by Gilbert hitting him upside the head.

"Doncha have enough girls Francie? Save some for the rest of us will ya?"

"I don't need one Gilbert. I have Lovi!"

"AWESOME! THEN THIS ONES MINE!" ...Wait, what? OH HELL NO!

"Y-You jush can't claiwm girlsh...!" You slurred, shaking your finger at him "Dash a no no...! Im gonns *hic* leave dish pwash..." You attempt to get up, but trip, and fall onto the hard wooden floor and black out.

"Urgh..." You woke up and rubbed your head. You felt like your head was being split open. You laid back down and hugged a pillow that was shaped like a baby chicken. ...WAIT WHAT!? Your head shot up off the bed and you looked around. This was NOT your room! Your heard a muffled grumble and looked to the side of you. Then screamed. Loudly.

"I understand you're happy to see the awesome me, but mind being a little quieter? I don't want the neighbors to call the police again" The albino stretched and yawned.

"P-PUT ON YOUR SHIRT! WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE PERVERT!?" You screamed, scrambling to get to the opposite side of the bed.

Gilbert chuckled "Relax birdie, I didn't do anything. And you are here cuz I brought you here!"

"NO, REALLY?! I THOUGHT I FLEW HERE!" you snapped.

"Ok that was a stupid answer. I brought you here because you collapsed in the bar. And it would have been totally unawesome to leave you there, so I brought you here to sleep it off. I figured it would be the best for you to come with me because Francis would probably try something, and Lovino would probably kill Antonio if he brought an unconscious girl home."

"Oh..." your rage quickly stopped, "Well, thank you... I'm sorry for the way I was acting... I-I just had a really bad day yesterday..." You proceeded to tell him about your craptastic day.

"So it wasn't bad sex..."

"O-OF COURSE NOT!"

Gilbert chuckled "Well, since yesterday was totally unawesome for you, I say I shall make this day the awesomest day of your life! You are going on a date with the awesome me!

"I don't have a say in this, do I?"

"Nope!"


	2. Chapter 2

At least your date allowed you to go home and change before your so called "Awesomest day of your life". You took a shower and changed into your favorite shirt and jeans and tied your hair up in a ponytail.

"There..." You muttered to yourself, grabbing your wallet and making your way to the front of your apartment. You locked your door and walked to the main entrance to your apartment building where the albino was waiting. You mentally face palmed as you opened the main entrance a crack and heard god-awful heavy metal playing. You looked out the door and spotted Gilbert doing some hardcore headbanging, earning stares from everyone who was driving by. He didn't even notice you as you walked up to his bright red convertible, that is until you abruptly reached in and turned off his music. He continued headbanging a few seconds after, until he realized that his crappy music was gone, he looked around confused for a second until his red eyes landed on you. His usual grin grew about ten feet wider.

"(y/n)!" He shouted, completely oblivious to the fact that you were right there and could hear him fine even if he had whispered, "Are you ready for the most awesome day of your life?!"

"Ready as i'll ever be..." You mumbled, opening the door to the passenger side, getting in and buckling your seatbelt. You closed the door and crossed your arms to your chest. "Where are we going anyway?"

He immediately froze "Umm... the awesome me is not sure...?"

...You really wish you had something to throw at him. Or an ejecto button. The ejecto button would kill two birds with one stone. You could escape his awful music, and could get out of the date. The only problem would be landing. Maybe you could get a parachute. Then again, with your luck, the parachute wouldn't open...

"Hallo? Birdie? You there?" You were suddenly snapped back to reality with the albino waving a hand in your face.

You looked at him annoyed "Birdie? What?"

He flashed a toothy grin at you "Its your nickname! You're my Birdie!

"I am NOT your bir-"

"I GOT IT!" You had to shut your mouth and grab onto your seat for dear life because the stupid albino floored it.

Miraculously, in no time flat you reached your destination without getting pulled over or in an accident. There were a few close calls though, and your throat was sore from yelling at him to watch out or slow down the entire way. Surprisingly, he got out of the car and opened your door for you. You quickly got out of the car, still shaken up from your roller coaster of a car ride. The albino grabbed your hand and practically dragged you to your unknown destination. The air smelt mysteriously... farm like?

The dragging suddenly quelled "Here we are Birdie!"

"Please don't call me that" You sighed and looked at the sign to the entrance to wherever the hell you were. "Petting Zoo...?" Not typical for a first date, but then again, he's not really a typical guy. Not in a good way!

"Ja!" The albino flashed a toothy grin and grabbed your hand and dragged you in "It's the perfect place to pick up chicks! Of course, that will be saved for last! The best is always saved for last!"

Your eye twitched. Pick up chicks?! Why that little... Wait... If he's here to pick up chicks, that means that he has no interest in you! Good, because you had absolutely ZERO interest in him. He can pick up all the chicks he wants.

Gilbert dragged you EVERYWHERE. There was not one animal that you two did not pet. Before you knew it, you were actually having fun! He even bought you some (favorite flavor) ice cream, which was your absolute favorite!

"(y/n)?"

"Yeah?" You replied, taking a lick of your delicious dairy dessert.

"Got some on your cheek" He reached out his hand, wiped off the ice cream with his finger... And put the finger in his mouth. HIS MOUTH.

"W-Wha?! D-don't do that!" You were pretty sure your cheeks were the same color as fire trucks, and as hot as the fire said fire trucks were supposed to put out.

The stupid albino laughed and continued eating his ice cream. "Delicious"

...Those firemen needed to stop slacking off, because your face was now an inferno.

Eventually, you were almost done seeing all of the animals. The albino was irritating you, because after almost every animal, he was going off about picking up chicks. You were at the cat house, petting a beautiful tabby kitten, but the idiotic albino had his brain other places then with cats.

"I can't wait to pick up chicks! It's my favorite part of coming here!"

You put down the cat, and got to your feet "...If thats your favorite part... why bother bringing me here... You don't need me to pick up chicks you jerk!" You didn't know what to do after that besides run. You bolted out of the cat house. You heard his voice yelling after you, but ignored it. Your eyes began to blur. You found a bench far from the cat house in a secluded area of the petting zoo and rubbed at your eyes, your hands feeling wetness.

"M-must have gotten some dust in my eye..." You mumbled to yourself, trying to deny your feelings. ...What's the use of lying to yourself... After the few short hours you spent with him, you had actually fallen for Gilbert.

"Birdie!"

You looked up and saw the idiot running toward you. You didn't have the energy to run again so you just sat there, allowing him to catch up and stand in front of you, panting. "What do you want?" You tried to put as much venom into your voice as possible, but you sounded like a puppy who had just been kicked.

He looked confused "Don't you want to pick up chicks with me?"

Your anger boiled over in a matter of seconds "WHY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO PICK UP CHICKS WITH YOU?! DAMMIT DON'T YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TO DO ON A DATE?! I DON'T WANT TO GO WITH YOU WHILE YOU'RE FLIRTING WITH OTHER GIRLS! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE WITH A GIRL THAT LIKES YOU AND WILL GIVE YOU THE TIME OF DAY!" You panted after your long rant, completely out of breath.

The albino looked at you for a while, then started laughing.

"W-WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT?!"

The idiot stifled his laughter "Sorry! But this was all a misunderstanding! By picking up chicks, I didn't mean flirting with other girls! I literally meant picking up chicks! As in picking up and holding baby chickens."

"...oh..." was all that you could say. You had made a complete fool of yourself, yelled at him for no reason whatsoever. You prayed for the ground to swallow you up, or him. Either one would work, you weren't picky.

Gilbert chuckled "Now, what were you saying before? That you liked me?"

You blushed hard "S-so?"

Gilbert smiled "So you wouldn't mind if I did this?"

"Did wha-" You were cut off by lips on your own. The albino was kissing you! It seemed to last forever, but in reality it was only a few seconds before he backed away. You were completely speechless. Your mind was racing with only one sentence: The albino kissed you. It seemed like hours before you could get your vocal chords to move again "W-w-what...?"

Gilbert smiled "Well you didn't push me away, so thats a good sign! Come on Birdie, lets go pick up some chicks!"

"Y-yeah..." Was all your clouded thoughts could come up with.


End file.
